2009/05/06

A Tale of Two Chumps


Part I
Brett Favre, just go away! What is it about "over the hill" that you don't seem to get? Why is the concept of making a classy exit, which would have been well deserved 2 years ago, so completely foreign to you? You dicked around with the Packers organization and fans, playing the "I'm retiring, no I'm not" game until they finally had no choice but to replace you -- at which point you cried like a little girl about being unfairly banished from your beloved frozen tundra. Your brief stint with the Jets was most notable for your refusal to bond with teammates, your disregard for learning the playbook, and your utter incompetence on the field. And now you think the Vikings starting QB slot should be handed to you? We're not sure who's crazier -- you or Childress! But we are sure about who's quickly becoming the biggest Chump in the NFL. So move over TO, make room Ocho Cinco, step aside Pacman -- Brett Favre is climbing aboard your Idiot's Express!

Part II
In yet another example of why anyone in women's professional tennis named Williams is a stone-cold Chump, we offer the following: Based on overall performance this year, the #1 WTA ranking has been earned by Dinara Safina, younger sister of former U.S. Open and Australian Open champ Marat Safin. In an interview prior to this week's Italian Open, Serena Williams loudly proclaimed, "Everyone knows who the REAL number 1 is. I'm the greatest player in the world!" Unfortunately for the Faux #1, Serena then proceeded to be bounced from the opening round, soundly losing to the obscure Swiss journeywoman Patty Schnyder. There were undoubtedly cheers throughout the locker room as Serena -- built like an ox on steroids and twice as ugly -- once again hoisted the Champion Chump trophy for all to see.

1 comment:

Kotite's Corner said...

Favre is a joke. I'm not real worried if he were to come back to the Vikings. He would help, since they need a QB badly in Minnesota, but he would do the same thing as always, end up blowing it in the end.