Shuster Suck

Shuster taking it from the other countries

Listen, if you don't watch curling, I don't like you, so stop reading. I have never curled before. I honestly do not know shit about curling. But every 4 years I watch it and it has become my favorite Olympic sport. So after Torino's surprise bronze medal for the Americans, I had some-what high hopes...possibly a medal again. These thoughts were quickly squashed by Shitty Shuster and his awful performance. If the game were on the line in 4 separate occasions and I had just one rock to curl down the ice, I would not make any of them. You know what is different between Shuster and I.....nothing! His wikipedia page has been hacked multiple times today with hilarious faux facts about him that were much better written than this. My personal favorite was something along the lines of this, "After choking in so many important curling events, Shuster is now known as the Donovan McNabb of curling." Whoever you are who wrote those today, thank you and I am sorry for butchering your quote (like anyone reads this) One good thing about today, is I just found out about this hot ice dancing chick on the US, Tanith Belbin (see below) and she agrees that Shuster sucks!

New York Post Amateur Hour

As most Philly fans are probably aware, the NY Post yesterday led with a headline article, "Gotham Trembles: The Frillies are Coming to Town,"complete with a doctored picture of Victorino sporting a tutu. The article itself contained such witty gems as comparing the iconic Statue of Liberty to Philly cheesesteaks as an illustration of NY's cultural superiority and,of course, trumpeting the Yankees dominant record in the Series (although,naturally, they failed to mention that such domination took place so long ago that most fans of those teams are now drooling in nursing homes -- and they're the lucky ones!).

Now, Kotite's Corner has no problem with trash talking, and we get the time-honored sporting fan tradition of putting down the opponent's city. It works both ways, so no problemo. But -- there should be some standards of intelligence, wit, creativity, or at least a modicum of cleverness to such displays of homerism. The problem KC has with the Post article isn't that it attempts to trash Philly, but the fact that the attempt is so lame, childish, and brain dead as to be genuinely disrespectful. Hell, if you're going to publicly trash a city, at least have enough respect to bring out the heavy artillery! The Post article is like a little boy in short pants shooting a popgun...But, then, what else would be expected from a raggy tabloid like the NY Post? In this regard, a few observations are in order:

The NY Post: Widely considered a trashy tabloid along the lines of the National Enquirer -- but without the latter's covertly sardonic humor --the modern Post is the brainchild of Rupert Murdoch, the Australian robber baron responsible for the truly un-American atrocity known as Fox (Fixed)News -- that haven of fringe right wing blowhards and nut cases who spew fascist and racist paranoid delusions over the public airways. The NY Posits nothing more than the print version of this nasty, hate-mongering,elementary school-level of bogus "journalism."

The Statue of Liberty: Interesting that NY claims "ownership" of this American icon. Geographically, it's actually located 2,000 feet from Jersey City, NJ, but 2 miles from New York City! While sitting in New York Harbor,Liberty Island is officially federal territory, not an extension of NY.This is simply another case of that boorish city's outrageous sense of entitlement and ego. NY has even dishonestly appropriated the address of this landmark! The federally recognized address by the US Postal Service was Liberty Island, Jersey City, NJ 07305. A bunch of typically dirty NY politicians corruptly engineered a change of address to 1 Liberty Island,New York, NY 10004. This would be like Philly annexing Delaware, and declaring it a section of the city. Pure BS!! And, anyhow, is a statue constructed and donated by the French -- of all people -- really something to get excited about? At least cheesesteaks are home-grown; they weren't concocted and sent over the Atlantic by effete Europeans who couldn't even defend their own county in two world wars...

The Myth of the New York Fan: Unlike Philly, there is no united fan base in NY. A good half of NYers despise the Yankees even more than we do --they're Mets fans. In fact, the majority of Yankee supporters don't even live in NY -- they're from North Jersey. Now this really isn't a surprise since several "NY teams" are actually located in Jersey -- the Giants,Jets, & Nets. But, as with the Statue of Liberty, NY simply declares ownership of whatever it wants.

The Luminaries of NY: Here's a partial list of great Americans born in NYC (thanks to the Inky's Gonzo for pointing this out): Al Capone; pop culture disasters Mariah Carey; Vin Diesel; shameless self-promoter Sean Combs/Puff Daddy/Puffy P/Diddy Diddy, etc., etc.; IQ-challenged Fixed News wingnut Sean Hannity; pitiful ex-NBAer Stephon Marbury; Nazi hate-mongerer Ann Coulter; father of the atomic bomb Robert Oppenheimer; and possibly the most toxic of all -- Lindsay Lohan. Thanks, New York, for your sterling contributions to American society!!

As Mark Twain once noted, there are generally two types of people: those who accomplish things and those who claimed to have accomplished things --and the first group is less crowded. Given the population of that city, I think we know to which group New Yorkers belong...

T.O. gets owned

thanks to withleather for the link

Frank Fitzpatrick Gets Owned

The Philadelphia Inquirer's own Frank Fitzpatrick wrote an article about the Brian Dawkins situation in today's edition of the paper. To be honest, I didn't even know who Frank Fitzpatrick was until today, and since this article takes the time to take "sarcastic" jabs at Philadelphia fans, we figured we would respond to Frank in kind. See Frank's entire article here. Here is a portion of it--

"The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
How could the Eagles let Brian Dawkins walk?
Where are they going to find another 35-year-old safety with fading skills?
Who is going to fist-bump and chest-thump after such rare and monumental events as a first-quarter tackle?
And now, when their starters are introduced before home games, who's going to come bounding out of the smoke like a kangaroo on crack?
Why couldn't they have listened to us fans?
I mean, why do we even bother to dress in team jerseys and get drunk every Sunday if we're just going to be ignored? Wonder how they'd like it if we didn't renew our season tickets? Bet you that franchise wouldn't survive long if they had to fill the stadium with high-school graduates.
Doesn't Andy Reid know that we're the real football experts? How many times has he called a talk radio station? How many fantasy leagues is he in? What are his blogging credentials?"

Really? Fitzpatrick rips the fans as if we don't know anything. Who does this guy think he is? Our very own, Dr. G took the time to e-mail Fitzpatrick, and the response is included below--

Re: your column "The Squawk over Dawk," I'm aware that your MO is to offer up what you take to be clever, sardonic parodies. In fact, they are nothing more than nasty, sarcastic hatchet-jobs caricaturing passionate Philly sports fans and, in this case, a truly inspirational player. Your depiction of this future Hall-of-Famer as a has-been showboater couldn't be farther from the truth, and is just plain ugly and mean-spirited in its level of disrespect and incivility. But perhaps I'm being a bit harsh in my judgment: after all, you out of all the Inky sports writers would know first hand what it's like to be an aging has-been with "fading skills..."

American Idol?!? We talking about American Idol?

I cannot believe I am writing an article about the subject of American Idol. What is wrong with me? Five years ago, before I started dating my wife, I would have laughed at the thought of even watching American Idol. I am such a music snob. I like to think my knowledge of music and its history is in the 99th percentile. All of this being said, I am married, so control over the TV is a constant battle in my house. Let’s be realistic, I’ve got no hand. I am just trying to set the stage on how/why I am watching this show and about to write an article about it. In all seriousness, if you see me on the street, slap some sense into me.


American Idol is a well-oiled machine. It cannot be stopped. Sites like "Vote for the Worst," and stars like Howard Stern cannot stop it. They blatantly market Coke-a-Cola and laugh all the way to the bank. Their ratings are Super Bowl-like. I have finally found a dent in their armor.


Generally, the esteemed judges of Idol provide the American viewers like my mom the ability to call in and vote 100 times per night for their favorite of the top 12 contestants. Normally, out of those 12, only 6 are really good and have a chance to become a pop star. Always looking to expand the empire and milk their sponsors for more money, Idol has broken the final 36 contestants into 3 groups and allowed America to vote the final 12 onto the next round, instead of the judges making that decision. Normally the 36 to 12 process picked by the judges is a week’s worth of episodes. They are now stretching the process out over the course of a month.


Last night, the first group of 12 was on television. It was awful; the diluted product was worse than the karaoke show I see on weekends at Yakitori Boy in Philly (by the way that place is fun, but run by morons, good luck getting them to keep a reservation or be intelligent in any sort of way). I hope ratings will go down, so in future seasons that I will be watching, because I am married and a bitch, I do not have to suffer through America voting on the final 36. It is in excess and the product was way worse than it already is.