American Idol?!? We talking about American Idol?

I cannot believe I am writing an article about the subject of American Idol. What is wrong with me? Five years ago, before I started dating my wife, I would have laughed at the thought of even watching American Idol. I am such a music snob. I like to think my knowledge of music and its history is in the 99th percentile. All of this being said, I am married, so control over the TV is a constant battle in my house. Let’s be realistic, I’ve got no hand. I am just trying to set the stage on how/why I am watching this show and about to write an article about it. In all seriousness, if you see me on the street, slap some sense into me.

American Idol is a well-oiled machine. It cannot be stopped. Sites like "Vote for the Worst," and stars like Howard Stern cannot stop it. They blatantly market Coke-a-Cola and laugh all the way to the bank. Their ratings are Super Bowl-like. I have finally found a dent in their armor.

Generally, the esteemed judges of Idol provide the American viewers like my mom the ability to call in and vote 100 times per night for their favorite of the top 12 contestants. Normally, out of those 12, only 6 are really good and have a chance to become a pop star. Always looking to expand the empire and milk their sponsors for more money, Idol has broken the final 36 contestants into 3 groups and allowed America to vote the final 12 onto the next round, instead of the judges making that decision. Normally the 36 to 12 process picked by the judges is a week’s worth of episodes. They are now stretching the process out over the course of a month.

Last night, the first group of 12 was on television. It was awful; the diluted product was worse than the karaoke show I see on weekends at Yakitori Boy in Philly (by the way that place is fun, but run by morons, good luck getting them to keep a reservation or be intelligent in any sort of way). I hope ratings will go down, so in future seasons that I will be watching, because I am married and a bitch, I do not have to suffer through America voting on the final 36. It is in excess and the product was way worse than it already is.


Eleanor the Dog said...

JERRY: I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today.
KRAMER: Really?
JERRY: We were talking about our lives and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men.
KRAMER: So, then you asked yourselves, "Isn't there something more to life?"
JERRY: Yes. We did.
KRAMER: Yeah, well, let me clue you in on something. There isn't.
JERRY: There isn't?

KRAMER: Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, jerry? Marriage? Family?
JERRY: Well...
KRAMER: They're prisons. Man made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning. She's there. You go to sleep at night. She's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?
JERRY: Really?
KRAMER: Yeah, and you can forget about watching TV while you're eating.
JERRY: I can?
KRAMER: Oh, yeah. You know why? Because it's dinner time. And you know what you do at dinner?
JERRY: What?
KRAMER: You talk about your day. How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know. How about you? How was your day?

KRAMER: It's sad , Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs..
JERRY: I'm glad we had this talk.
KRAMER: Oh, you have no idea.

Mr. Green said...

Kotite's Corner has officially entered the American Idol game.... it's a sad day.

Mr. Green said...

JERRY: (Pleading) I'm really sorry.

GEORGE: You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!

JERRY: (Confused) Where'd you get that one?

GEORGE: It's an expression.

Kosmo said...

I thought two men wrote articles on this site. I guess I was wrong. Faaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggg.

T-Bone said...

Three by Rodney Dangerfield:

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine!"

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we got married.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

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